She spots me in the distance and takes off her shiny, mirrored helmet. Blond wisps of hair fall out and are caught by the wind, trailing off into infinity. Her blue eyes pierce me from a mile away and electrify the otherwise dull landscape. Slowly she removes her body armor, revealing a skin-tight black jumpsuit with a silver zipper down the middle. She runs her fingers through her golden hair and steps towards me. Could this really be happening?
Her hands trace over her shapely breasts before making their way towards the zipper. She hesitates at first and then gradually pulls down the zipper. It’s a hot day, after all—what must a girl do to cool off these days? Midway down, I begin to see the edges of her magnificent cleavage. Great heavens. She wants me. She really wants me!
I’m ready to jump off the balcony and slay a million zombies with a plastic fork until I feel the cool edge of the barrel against my head. Quickly she zips herself up and crosses her arms. Not this time. Not ever.
Her betrayal is the last thing I ponder before my captor pulls the trigger. Yes, please…shoot me in the head…
My gruesome departure springs me back to reality. I rub my eyes and try to shake the vision from my head.
I can fantasize, right? I mean, what hurt could that do?
A lot, actually.
Perhaps I should get a dog.
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